In the first verse of Megilat Eicha, the prophet Yirmiyahu describes Jerusalem k’almana, like a widow: “Alas- she sits in solitude! The city that was great with people has become like a widow. The greatest among nations, the princess among provinces, has become a vassal.”

Eicha goes on to tell us that she weeps bitterly at night. She has nobody to comfort her. Her friends are now her enemies, her young children have gone into captivity.

Why is Jerusalem described as k’almana, like a widow, rather than almana, a widow?

In the Talmud, Sanhedrin 104a, Rav Yehuda said in the name of Rav: Jerusalem has merely become like a widow, but not truly a widow. Rather, she is like a woman whose husband has gone overseas, but his intention is to return to her. Similarly, Jerusalem is not permanently estranged from God, but will one day be reunited with Him.

B’nai Yisrael “the husband” left Jerusalem “the wife” during the exile but will eventually come back as it says in Yishayahu 54:4 “Fear not, for you shall not be ashamed: neither be humiliated; for you shall not be disgraced: For you shall forget the shame of your youth, and you shall no longer remember the disgrace of your widowhood.”

Radak explains that at the time of the final redemption, we will not experience the humiliations that our ancestors encountered when they returned from exile in the days of Ezra.

We will read in the Haftara for Parshat Nitzavim (Yishayahu 62:5), the seventh Haftara of Nechama (comfort) exactly eight weeks from this Shabbat: “As a young man takes a maiden in marriage, so will your children settle in you; and like the bridegroom’s rejoicing over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.”

Instead of the image of a man deserting his wife, we have the image of a groom rejoicing with his bride.

We are already fulfilling part of this prophecy. The Jewish people have returned to their homeland. The “husband” and “wife” are now back together. Now we are waiting for all of the “children” who are living throughout the world to return home to Jerusalem and settle in Israel.

Fifteen years ago, in August 2004, Josh and I decided to do our part in fulfilling the prophecy by making aliya along with our two young children Dov and Moshe. Yehuda was born on Chanuka two years later.

May we all be blessed to return to the rebuilt Jerusalem.

This Saturday night and Sunday, we will commemorate the sad day of Tisha B’Av. The Hebrew date of Tisha B’Av, the 9^th of the month of Av actually comes out on Shabbat this year. Since it is forbidden to turn Shabbat into a day of mourning Tisha B’Av is postponed until right after Shabbat so this year we are commemorating the 9^th of Av on the 10^th of Av.

We are told in the Talmud, Taanit 30b: “Anyone who does not mourn for Jerusalem will not witness her joy at the time of the redemption.

How do we mourn for Jerusalem?

On Tisha B’Av we don’t eat, drink, wear leather shoes, have marital relations, wash or anoint our bodies. In other words, we make ourselves uncomfortable. We also read Megillat Eicha (Lamentations) and recite Kinot (sad poems about the troubles that befell the Jewish people throughout history). We sit on the floor or on a low stool as a sign of mourning.

What else can we do to mourn for Jerusalem?

Those who have the opportunity to visit Jerusalem can visit the ruins from the time of the Beit HaMikdash (Temple).

When one goes to the Temple Mount they are reminded that Jews are not permitted to walk freely or pray there.

On Tisha B’Av last year, we didn’t have to put ourselves into the mood of mourning as we were already mourning for the soldiers who were killed in Operation Tzuk Eitan. Just turning on the TV or opening up the newspaper gave us plenty to cry about.

Ten years ago, we had another reason to cry. Gush Katif was being evacuated and Jews were forced to leave their homes, neighborhoods and businesses which were destroyed. The cemetaries and synagogues were uprooted.

What can we do to rebuild Jerusalem?

The Talmud, Taanit 26b teaches that one of the happiest days on the Jewish calendar is Tu B’Av (The 15^th of Av), just a few days after Tisha B’Av. How can this be? How can we move on from mourning the destruction to the holiday where men and women would go out to find a spouse in order to build a Jewish home?

The holiday of Tu B’Av teaches us that we must always work on rebuilding. Just as those who are dating need to focus on building a relationship, the Jewish people need to make an effort to build a relationship with the Land of Israel and those living there. We must continue to help rebuild Israel by building homes, industry, schools, synagogues, community centers and parks. We also have to build relationships with one another.

Those who are in Israel can physically build up the land. Those who are not in Israel can visit and support the programs that are being created.

If Jewish people from around the world make a conscious effort to build a relationship with the State of Israel and those living there, we will be one step closer to the rebuilding of the Beit HaMikdash.

In the Talmud, Shabbat 31a we read the following: “Rava said: When they escort a person to his final, Heavenly judgment after his death, the Heavenly tribunal says to him: Did you conduct your business transactions faithfully? Did you set aside fixed times for Torah study? Did you engage in procreation (asakta befriah ureviah)? Did you wait in the hope of Messianic salvation? …”

According to the Maharsha it doesn’t say “kiyamta” (did you observe the mitzvah of procreation), rather it says “asakta” (were you involved in procreation) since it is a mitzvah to marry off an orphan.

Even those who, for whatever reason, can’t have children of their own still have the obligation to help find shiduchim (matches) for others in order to bring about more Jewish families who will then be fruitful and multiply.

Just as a couple who is having difficulty conceiving will do whatever it takes in order to try to have a child (whether through fertility drugs, in vitro or adoption etc.), spend as much money as needed and go to the ends of the earth, so too should we go out of our way in the realm of helping people find their basherts (destined matches).

During these three weeks leading up to Tisha B;Av when we cry for the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash (Temple) as well as for other tragedies that occurred throughout Jewish history, we should mourn as well for the houses that were never built since the proper shidduchim were never found .

Remember, whoever makes a bride and groom happy is like one who built a ruined house from the ruins of Jerusalem.

Those who value conducting business in an ethical manner, setting aside time for Torah study and the hope that the Mashiach will come speedily in our day must do what they can to help alleviate the shidduch crisis and help bring about the rebuilding of the Beit HaMikdash.