Parshat Chukat (Bamidbar, Chapter 19) begins with a “Chok”, decree from the Torah which is beyond human understanding, the chok of the Para Aduma, the Red Cow. The Para Aduma is a cow that is entirely red and has never been used for any work. The cow’s ashes were used in the purification process of people or objects who became “tamei”, ritually impure from a human corpse. Since such cows were very rare, the community was willing to pay a great sum of money for one.

The Gemara in Kidushin 31a teaches us about the connection between the mitzvah of Kibud Av VaEm (honoring your parents) and the Para Aduma:

Rav Ulla was asked: How far does the mitzvah of honoring one’s father and mother extend? Rav Ulla answered: Go and see what Dama ben Netina (a non-Jew) did in Ashkelon. It once happened that the sages went to buy certain merchandise (according to Rabbi Eliezer it was precious stones for the Ephod- garment worn by the Kohen Gadol’) from Dama ben Netina at a price that would give him a profit of six hundred thousand gold dinars, but the key to the chest that contained the merchandise was lying under his father’s pillow. His father was sleeping at the time and Dama ben Netina did not want to disturb him so he did not sell them the merchandise.

The next year, God gave Dama ben Netina his reward and a Para Aduma was born in his herd. The Sages of Israel went to him to purchase the Para Aduma. Dama ben Netina said to them: I know you, if I would ask from you all of the money in the world, you would give it to me. However, I ask from you only the amount of money that I lost as a result of honoring my father.

According to the Maharsha (Avoda Zara 24a) Dama ben Netina was a righteous gentile and he wished to receive his reward in the World to Come rather than in this world.

The Gemara in Kidushin 31a continues: Rabbi Chanina said: If one who performs a mitzvah without having been commanded to do so receives such a reward, then one who performs a mitzvah having been commanded to do so--- how much more so does he receive reward! One who performs a mitzvah having been commanded to do so is greater than one who performs a mitzvah without having been commanded to do so.

In 1997, a red cow was born in Kfar Chasidim, Israel. At first, a big deal was made and Rabbis came from all over Israel to check out the cow. Unfortunately, they found some white hairs in its tail, making it not completely red and therefore not a true Para Aduma.

I guess that we will have to keep looking for a true red cow. In the mean time, it doesn’t hurt to follow in Dama ben Netina’s footsteps and teach the next generation to honor their parents to the best of their abilities.