Chapter 24 in Parshat Ki Tetze opens with the laws of divorce: “If a man marries a woman and lives with her, and it will be that she will not find favor in his eyes, for he found in her a matter of immorality, and he wrote her a bill of divorce and presented it into her hand and sent her from his house. And she left his house and went and married another man. The latter man hated her and wrote her a bill of divorce and presented it into her hand and sent her from his house…”

The last Mishna in Tractate Gittin (Divorce) addresses the question of what are legitimate grounds for divorce:

Beit Shamai says “A man may not divorce his wife unless he found in her an act of adultery (as stated above 24:1) “For he found in her a matter of immorality”.

Beit Hillel says even if she burned (overcooked or over salted) his food he may divorce her (as stated above 24:1) “For he found in her a matter of immorality”.

Rashi states that matter of immorality can refer to adultery (Beit Shammai) or any other matter (Beit Hillel).

Beit Hillel doesn’t mean that if a woman burned the soup then she should be divorced. Rather he is saying that Beit Shammai is being too strict in saying that adultery is the only reason for divorce. Sometimes there are irreconcilable differences that may make living together unbearable.

We also see this from the fact that in her second marriage her husband hated her and wrote a bill of divorce (24:3) and there is no mention of adultery.

For the divorce to be valid, both husband and wife have to consent. There must be free will on the part of the husband to give the get (Jewish divorce) unless the Beit Din (Rabbinic Court) compels him to give it (in the case of a recalcitrant husband refusing to grant a divorce where circumstances require it) and there must be free will on the part of the wife to accept it.

The woman can demand a get in the cases of incompatibility (based on her husband’s mistreatment of her) as well as in the cases of his physical defects.

The Rambam states that “a man should honor his wife more than he honors himself and love her as he loves himself. He should seek to provide for her according to his means. He shall not unduly impose his fear upon her, but he should speak to her gently and he should not be overly sad or angry.”

Tractate Ketubot 110b adds that if a husband wants to make aliya (settle in the Land of Israel) and the wife refuses then the husband has grounds to compel divorce. By the same token, if a wife wants to make aliya and the husband refuses, then the wife has grounds to compel divorce.